ON BUILDING ONE'S CONFIDENCE

A fellow teacher celebrated her birthday today. I was pleased with her invitation. Not only did we enjoy free lunch but it provided us the chance to know her more. I was able to see beyond her skin and able to feel for her and her lack of self confidence. She needs a gift that will have a lifelong effect on her rather than a short-lived one. She deserves gifts that are intangible and inexpensive - the gift of friendship, of patience and of a loving hearts. Often times, there are other things that one receives from his well wishers that are far more overwhelming other than what we see inside a beautifully wrapped box.

We encounter individuals who are not physically gifted yet exude certain confidence. On the other hand, we see beautiful individuals but with very low self-esteem. In both cases, a mother plays a vital role. As mothers to our children, in our hands we should see to it that they grow beautifully in and out. We help them grow wings, teach them how to fly and prepare them enough should there be a fall. We mothers should affirm and not break the children entrusted to our care.

Being a good mom to my daughter is a work in progress. I still have episodes of sulking in negativity which I badly need to overcome. I have this philosophy - I let all these shake me now, until I shake no more and be sturdy enough to protect my beloved Christa. I need to work on my weaknesses so I'll be a good model to my daughter. I should put my daughter's concern first rather than being affected by what other people would say.These professed weaknesses do not make me love my daughter any less. The acceptance of my weakness is the first step to my healing, to my renewal. With eagerness I'll take each step - each leading me to being an ALMOST perfect mom.

One of my goals in life is to give my all where motherhood is concern.

BURST WITH MAXIMUM ENERGY

The girl in the photo is my baby. Her name is Christa. She's 2 and wears glasses to correct her accomodative esotropia. I can come up with a good list of descriptions about her. VERY ENERGETIC will be among the top 10 on the list.

I've heard, read and witnessed the TERRIBLE TWO'S scenario but I did not fully understand how terrible it really is until I experience it first hand with Christa. There will be times I am tempted to rouse her from sleep but when she is awake with all her energy- I would ask myself when will she ever call it a day. She tires everyone dealing with her yet without affecting the level of her energy. She brings most of us screaming with all the things that she does.

I now understand why toddlers from ages 2 up need to pay for their airfares. The last checkup she had, she strongly insisted to have her own seat. I just imagined what a hassle it would be to a seatmate to us trio. I am sure the seatmate will experience LSS of whatever songs that would come out of her mouth.

I was told this is just a phase and that in about a year or two-she'll lie low. What??? I still have a few years of bearing all her energy sucking activities. Despite the exhaustion she gives me, my love for her won't falter. As I said, all for her because she is my gift.:-)

STILL SUMMER

Days rolled with speed and before I know it, summer will be over. Teachers will report for work starting next week. It means more time to spend in school with less time for home. This makes me reflect how well I have spent the month of April. Did I work on my goals? Did I make this month fruitful and enjoyable for my family?

Before summer started, I made a vow of keeping myself fit. I want to at least trim down and feel good about myself and more importantly to trash my bad habit of indulging to eating with no control. I want to suppress gluttony to feel good and to stay long for my little Christa and my family. Apparently, this objective remained just an objective this summer. I was a failure because I have no discipline. It is very ironic. I was a very disciplined person before some disturbances shook my being. I received reminders from concerned persons about getting back to old me.I do work on it.Honestly. Just some problems with the pace I choose and once in a while sulking to downers. But I feel better - and hoping for the best to come.

Before

Current

I was talked about some changes to happen for the opening of classes come June Although there was a slight feeling of hurt yet a big part of me was happy of the plan. This would give me room to improve myself as a teacher and do some lots of catching up with my close friends by being in the same room. This is God's decision- for me and my family. Wherever this would lead to, with confidence I'll say I'll be okay. No one is lost when the Lord takes the lead in his life.

As a conclusion, this day provided me with a list of realizations. In times that I'm down, I just have to reread them again and remind myself that life's like that - just hang on.
1.When all else is overwhelming, find yourself an outlet where to unload all your feelings. You may blog, indulge in a spa, give in to sinful food indulgences or surround yourself with the people you love.
2. Problems at work are left at work. Let peace reign in our abode.
3. Any disturbances in our lives are God's redirection.
4. Do what you love to do. This will detoxify all the negative energies and surface the renewed you.